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| Jeffrey Boucher |
The runner aims at a contradiction. It's hard to imagine, in other words, the rewards of daily devotion to strenuous exercise as anything but a sort of life for an ideal that makes the years of ceaseless striving its only means. It's done though the price is so exhaustedly (and painfully) taxing. And growing old into it doesn't make it easier either. But, of course, the run is itself its own enticing end. The elites, of whatever sport, know (as all devotees to something bigger than themselves do) that to excel is to die to self. I won't apologize for the religious connotations for the parallels are here necessary. I'll call the elation of daily exertion--as Jeffrey Boucher must have certainly known it--a transcendental to which every self-sacrificing activity is always directed as towards its end and reward.
So what do we make of this death of the runner? Is not death some horrible affront, after all, to the spirit of the run that's to be passed off here as one of life's aimless ironies? Perhaps the most horrible type imaginable? Is it even conceivable the runner can take his own life, tired of the repetitiveness? What do we make of this running unto death (if indeed the end was a final type of self-annulment that is perhaps every run's true telos)?
I'm prompted really by sadness --as everything that exactly resembles my own life and then tragically ends must--and proper sense of horror, too. at the spectacle of a self-discipline reduced to water and so much sand. I'm reminded that awards don't necessarily await even the disinterested devotees of morning air, sunshine and the circular miracle of life itself. It may be, after all, just a matter of treacherous piers and horizons. The runner most certainly aims at a contradiction.
4 comments:
Conrad:
I don't know who Jeffrey was.
Perhaps you could explain?
Hi Curtis
click on 'death' link to news story to see who he was. It's my tribute to a man who'd probably died for a running passion. Which sort of inspired me (as avid runner)to write my poem-tribute to him.
Running, like any other form of physical stress, may inspire mental symptoms.
The relation between body and mind is a complex one, which we don't really understand yet.
I've put myself through bodily regimen before, and it requires dedication. In my late 20's, I lost 50 pounds and stayed on a low weight for a year, taking in less than 900 calories a day and exercising hard every day, eating only healthy stuff. It took constant dedication and discipline.
I gave it up gradually, because it was sapping all my energy and mental attention. I was thinking constantly about food. I didn't even enjoy sex, which was becoming kind of "detached" --
Marathon runners talk about the high they experience, and I guess it must be habit forming. I think for most people, that kind of strain is probably not healthy. Women, for instance, stop having periods and ovulating, if they over exert too much.
yes, I agree
a sort of diminishing returns reality begins to set in, making the sport a contradiction. Women are not suited to running: they're not really built for it. Of course, there are fabulous exceptions but too far few. As for the guys, it's probably a genetic theme, something from our collective hunting/nomadic regimen. As if I'm following a blind instinct rather than venturing for specified health benefits.
It seems the longer you run, the less its own intrinsic rewards. The gazelle at the end of your spear provided tangible incentives. What's there for us today?
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